What Is An Open Relationship?

An open relationship is a committed partnership where both people agree they can have romantic or sexual connections with others outside their relationship. Unlike cheating, everything happens with full knowledge and consent from both partners. It's a relationship structure that's gaining more visibility in 2026, though it's certainly not new.

If you're curious whether this arrangement could work for you—or you're just trying to understand what a friend or partner means when they bring it up—you're in the right place. We'll break down how open relationships actually function, who they work for, and the honest challenges that come with them.

Understanding What an Open Relationship Really Means

Let's clear up some confusion right away. An open relationship isn't the same as casual dating, and it's not a free pass to do whatever you want. At its core, it's still a committed relationship between two people who consider each other primary partners. The "open" part simply means both have agreed that connecting with others—usually sexually, sometimes romantically—is acceptable within their relationship.

The key word here is agreement. Both partners actively choose this structure together. One person pushing for it while the other reluctantly goes along? That's a recipe for disaster, not a genuine open relationship.

According to Lovezoid's dating experts, about 4-5% of Americans are currently in some form of consensually non-monogamous relationship. That number has been growing steadily, especially among younger adults who are questioning traditional relationship models.

Different Types of Open Relationships

Not all open relationships look the same. Here are the most common structures:

• Sexually open only: Partners can have physical relationships with others, but romantic feelings are off-limits. This is purely about sexual variety.
• Polyamory: Both partners can form full romantic and sexual relationships with multiple people. Everyone involved knows about each other.
• Swinging: Couples engage in sexual activities with other couples or individuals together, often at events or clubs. If you're curious about this, understanding what to expect from group experiences is helpful.
• Don't ask, don't tell: Partners agree that outside relationships are fine, but they don't share details. This is less common and can be tricky to maintain.
• Hierarchical: There's a clear "primary" relationship that takes priority, with "secondary" relationships understood to be less central.

The type that works depends entirely on what both partners want and can handle emotionally.

Why People Choose Open Relationships in 2026

People don't usually wake up one day and randomly decide to open their relationship. There are usually specific reasons behind the choice:

Different Sex Drives or Interests

When one partner wants sex more frequently than the other, or has specific desires their partner doesn't share, an open arrangement can relieve pressure. Understanding how physical intimacy affects partnerships helps put this in perspective. Rather than one person feeling deprived or the other feeling pressured, both get their needs met.

Belief That One Person Can't Meet All Needs

Some people genuinely believe it's unrealistic to expect one person to fulfill every emotional, intellectual, and physical need. They see having multiple connections as natural rather than as a sign something's wrong.

Long-Distance Situations

Couples separated by geography sometimes open their relationship temporarily. The emotional commitment stays strong, but physical needs get addressed locally.

Sexual Exploration

Maybe one partner wants to explore their bisexuality, try new experiences, or simply see what else is out there—with their partner's blessing rather than behind their back.

Avoiding the Monotony

After years together, some couples find that introducing new people adds excitement that benefits their primary relationship too. They come back to each other with renewed energy.

Signs an Open Relationship Could Work for You

Not everyone is built for this. Here's what tends to be true for people who thrive in open relationships:

• You don't experience much jealousy naturally. Some people genuinely feel happy when their partner has positive experiences with others.
• Your communication is already excellent. If you struggle to discuss difficult topics now, adding more people won't help.
• You're secure in yourself and your relationship. Open relationships expose insecurities fast. If your self-worth depends on being your partner's "only one," this will hurt.
• You both genuinely want this. Not one person convincing the other. Both of you feel curious and excited about the idea.
• You can separate sex from deep emotional attachment. Or, if you can't, you're prepared for the complexity of multiple romantic relationships.

Red Flags That an Open Relationship Isn't Right for You

Be honest with yourself. Opening a relationship won't fix these situations:

• Your relationship is already struggling. If you're fighting constantly, feeling disconnected, or dealing with unhealthy relationship patterns, adding more people creates more problems, not fewer.
• One partner cheated and this is "damage control." Opening a relationship after infidelity rarely works. The trust issue needs to be addressed first.
• You're hoping it will make your partner stay. Agreeing to something you don't want just to keep someone never ends well.
• You feel intense jealousy regularly. That's not a character flaw—it just means monogamy is probably better for you.
• You're using it to avoid commitment. If you actually want something more committed, an open relationship is the wrong direction.

Essential Rules for Making an Open Relationship Work

Every successful open relationship has clear agreements. Here are rules most couples establish:

Define What's Allowed

Is it just sex? Dating? Falling in love? Can you bring people home? Are certain acts reserved only for each other? Get specific. Vague agreements lead to hurt feelings when assumptions don't match.

Agree on Disclosure Levels

Do you want to know everything? Just that it happened? Nothing at all? Some couples share details; others prefer privacy. Neither is wrong, but you need to agree.

Establish Veto Power (Maybe)

Some couples agree that either partner can shut down a specific outside relationship if it's causing problems. Others find this too controlling. Decide what feels right for you.

Prioritize Safe Sex

This isn't negotiable. Agree on protection requirements with outside partners and stick to them. Regular STI testing should become routine.

Schedule Check-Ins

Set regular times to discuss how the arrangement is working. Feelings change. What seemed fine three months ago might not feel okay now. Keep talking.

Protect Your Primary Relationship

If outside connections start taking time and energy away from your main relationship, something needs to adjust. Most couples agree that the primary partnership comes first.

Common Mistakes People Make in Open Relationships

Even with good intentions, these errors trip people up:

• Opening the relationship to fix problems. We've said it, but it bears repeating. Fix your relationship first, then consider opening it from a position of strength.
• Not being honest about jealousy. Pretending you're fine when you're not builds resentment. It's okay to admit you're struggling and need to talk.
• Comparing yourself to your partner's other connections. This is a trap. Different people offer different things. You're not in competition.
• Neglecting the primary relationship. The excitement of new connections can be intoxicating. Don't let it overshadow what you already have.
• Changing rules without discussion. If you agreed to something and want to change it, talk first. Surprising your partner with new behavior breaks trust.
• Forgetting that outside partners are people too. They have feelings and deserve honesty about your situation and what you can offer them.

How to Bring Up the Topic With Your Partner

If you're curious about opening your relationship, here's how to start that conversation:

Choose the right moment. Not during a fight, not right after sex, not when either of you is stressed. Find a calm, private time.

Frame it as curiosity, not a demand. "I've been reading about open relationships and I'm curious what you think" lands better than "I want to see other people."

Listen more than you talk. Their reaction matters. Give them space to process and respond honestly.

Be prepared for any answer. They might be curious too. They might be horrified. They might need time to think. All of these are valid responses.

Don't pressure. If they say no, that's their answer. Repeatedly bringing it up or trying to convince them crosses a line.

Sometimes these conversations reveal that what you really want is to explore whether casual connections can become something more—which might mean your current relationship isn't meeting your needs in ways that opening it won't solve.

• An open relationship is a consensual agreement between committed partners to have connections with others—it's not cheating and it's not casual dating.
• Both partners must genuinely want this arrangement. One person reluctantly agreeing will lead to pain.
• Strong communication, low jealousy, and personal security are essential traits for success.
• Clear rules about what's allowed, disclosure, and safe sex practices are non-negotiable.
• Opening a relationship won't fix existing problems—it usually makes them worse.
• Regular check-ins help ensure both partners still feel good about the arrangement.
• It's okay to try it and decide it's not for you. Closing a relationship back up is always an option.

Open relationships aren't better or worse than monogamous ones—they're just different. The right relationship structure is the one where both partners feel fulfilled, respected, and genuinely happy. If you're exploring your options, dating sites and apps can help you connect with others who share your relationship philosophy, whatever that might be.